Sigh. It begins. Again.

I'm a very difficult person to understand, I can't even understand myself. I write only to make sense of what's in my head and many times what I write scares me  becasue I realise its the truth. Its funny.

About me? I am contradiction

I am fiercely spiritual in the sense I take pride in my Catholicism, but at the same time I embrace humanism and man's right to exist without accepting a God. I pray and enjoy being loved by a higher power but am as much a bad sinner as anyone else who doesn't feel that way and in the essence of all this

I feel I'm more human this way.

I'm more real

I'm not a fake

I don't put on a facade

I hate pretense

I cannot stand it

If you have an attitude, admit it. If you can't stand blacks or whites or yellow people or Pakistanis or Indians or whatever, admit it. 

Don't pretend. That's how I am. Unfortunately, that's the other paradox: I have NO prejudices. I cannot, no matter what happens, get angry.

My patience is legendary among my friends and especially among my office colleagues and team. The problem wit that is, people sometimes think I'm indifferent. They think I fake it. They think I'm sucking up to something or someone. I don't particularly care, but its a scary thought. 

I am amazing at poker becauseof this.   

I used to think what I'm about to say was silly...until I realised that

deep down. ALL of us, we're not looking for perfect partners. We're looking for flawed ones. We're looking for incomplete people, because WE want to complete them.

That, I believe, is the essense of who we are. Our life is one big piece in a two piece jigsaw, and we're always looking for that other piece. 

Ever notice a jigsaw piece? Its imperfect without its other half. 

We are all, every one of us: imperfect. And we find our perfection in others.

Admit to yourself that you are flawed, and you will find your perfection. 

I hope I find mine.